Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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