that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
