i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
