At least make sure they are 18
Why
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize