I am spending my child support on dildos
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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