I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
