She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
