i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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