it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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