Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
