On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
