all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
