Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
