So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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