I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
