im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
