Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
