you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Let's paint friendship bongs
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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