she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
