OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
