Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Randomize