Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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