I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Randomize
