how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
