My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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