You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
