yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
we're so committed to being not committed
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
