He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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