Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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