Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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