I'm eating all of the evidence.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize