Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
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