Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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