I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
PANTIES FOUND
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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