i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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