Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
