I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
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