he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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