Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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