Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
