the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
You were trust falling into bushes
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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