you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I forgot wine drunk hurts
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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