You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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