i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
