he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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