Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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