Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
His nipple licking is glorious
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