I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
