You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
