i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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