You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
In other news, I just burned my penis
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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