I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
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