Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
