Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
