is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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