i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
