Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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