just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
You can't just leave with hair like that
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize