you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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