Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
