I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
