to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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