I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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