He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
It's just like the Real World with babies
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
