and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
