OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
