I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
