Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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