: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
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