how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
