you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
