Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
