Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize