i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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