no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
