You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
