bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Randomize
